Irony Quotes

The promise of this life is imperiled by the very genius that has made it possible.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

It surely must be one of the great ironies of our age that this august Assembly is addressed, for the first time in its 49 years, by a South African Head of State drawn from among the African majority of what is an African country.

But what about-brace yourself-earnest. If you dethrone sincerity with irony, you get an equal tyrant by the end of the day, and I'm kind of tired of it. Because what makes me feel uncomfortable is saying, like, 'Do you mind telling me that I'm good, or that you love me, just so I can feel OK?' That's the shit I'm scared of, being seen as some fucking lame dude. It's way harder to be a bit naive and soppy without going not, or lol, or I jack off all the time.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Everybody loves your life but you.

Love, when spelled backwards and read phonetically, reads evil.

I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.

I suppose that's one of the ironies of life doing the wrong thing at the right moment.

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall.

I must be cruel only to be kind; Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind.

In life, we weep at the thought of death. In death, perhaps we weep at the thought of life.