The rich invest in time, the poor invest in money.

Taking jobs to build up your resume is the same as saving up sex for old age.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Voting for Trump is like asking me to drive a car.

I've always wanted to smash a guitar over someone's head. You just can't do that with a piano.