It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.