When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

I find humor in just about every situation. Even the most serious situations. And I find if you use it right, it allows the listener not to feel so uncomfortable. Or to even empathize with that character.

Bewildered, bewildered, you have no complaint. You are what you are, and you ain't what you ain't.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.