Sarcasm Quotes

Help thyself: then everyone will help thee too. Principle of Christian charity.

Woman was God's second mistake.

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

Evil men have no songs. How is it that the Russians have songs?

Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose.

In the whole of the New Testament there is not one joke, that fact alone would invalidate any book.

Man does not strive for pleasure; only the Englishman does.

Virtue gives happiness and a state of blessedness only to those who have a strong faith in their virtue. Not, however, to the more refined souls whose virtue consists of a profound distrust of themselves and of all virtue. After all, therefore, it is faith that saves here also!

Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 [Hillary Clinton] emails that are missing. I think you will be rewarded mightily by our press.

She's telling us how to fight ISIS. Just go to her website. She tells you how to fight ISIS on her website. I don't think General Douglas MacArthur would like that too much. See, you're telling the enemy everything you want to do. No wonder you've been fighting ISIS your entire adult life.

He [Donald Trump] is not my bride. I am not his bride, nor his groom.

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

There is not one single social or economic principle or concept in the philosophy of the Russian Bolshevik which has not been realized, carried into action, and enshrined in immutable laws a million years ago by the white ant.

It is pretty tough to reshape human society in an after-dinner speech.

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

The Times is speechless, and takes three columns to express its speechlessness.

I am very glad there are quite a number of people born with a gift and a liking for all of this; like great chessplayers who play sixteen games at once blindfold and die quite soon of epilepsy. Serve them right! I hope the Mathematicians, however, are well rewarded. I promise never to blackleg their profession nor take the bread out of their mouths.

The power of an air force is terrific when there is nothing to oppose it.

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.