Sarcasm Quotes

Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 [Hillary Clinton] emails that are missing. I think you will be rewarded mightily by our press.

She's telling us how to fight ISIS. Just go to her website. She tells you how to fight ISIS on her website. I don't think General Douglas MacArthur would like that too much. See, you're telling the enemy everything you want to do. No wonder you've been fighting ISIS your entire adult life.

He [Donald Trump] is not my bride. I am not his bride, nor his groom.

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

My education was interrupted only by my schooling.

It is pretty tough to reshape human society in an after-dinner speech.

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

The Times is speechless, and takes three columns to express its speechlessness.

There is not one single social or economic principle or concept in the philosophy of the Russian Bolshevik which has not been realized, carried into action, and enshrined in immutable laws a million years ago by the white ant.

I am very glad there are quite a number of people born with a gift and a liking for all of this; like great chessplayers who play sixteen games at once blindfold and die quite soon of epilepsy. Serve them right! I hope the Mathematicians, however, are well rewarded. I promise never to blackleg their profession nor take the bread out of their mouths.

The power of an air force is terrific when there is nothing to oppose it.

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.

Mr. Chamberlain loves the working man, he loves to see him work.

He has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts.

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.

I am pleased the Ministry of Culture is protecting the morals of expatriate bankers and their girlfriends.

We have a thousand points of light for the homeless man. We've got a kinder gentler machine gun hand.

When God created man and woman, he did not take a patent. That's why any imbecile has been able to do so ever since.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.