It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.

I look like a down-and-out drunk who has been picked out of the gutter in the Strand.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.