When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.