It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

I look like a down-and-out drunk who has been picked out of the gutter in the Strand.

I had a feeling once about Mathematics - that I saw it all. Depth beyond depth was revealed to me - the Byss and Abyss. I saw - as one might see the transit of Venus or even the Lord Mayor's Show - a quantity passing through infinity and changing its sign from plus to minus. I saw exactly why it happened and why the tergiversation was inevitable but it was after dinner and I let it go.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.