I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

I sound like that old guy down the street that doesn't chase you out of his apple tree.

We are waiting for the long-promised invasion. So are the fishes.

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.

Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.