Microphones are just like people, if you shout at them, they get scared.

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.

I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats, though.

The people are applauding you because none of them understands you and applauding me because everybody understands me.

In china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you.

Some people tap their feet, some people snap their fingers, and some people sway back and forth. I just sorta do 'em all together, I guess.