Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent. Leave that to me.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority are possessed of two great qualities--a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.

I can't help it if the ladies take note of me; I am not going to protest.

You sharpen your ideas by reducing yourself to the level of the people you are with and a sense of humour and a complete relaxation, even when you're discussing serious things, does help to mobilise friends around you. And I love that.