The way to deal with worldly people is to frighten them by repeating their scandalous whisperings aloud.

George Bernard Shaw

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

A moderately honest man with a moderately faithful wife, moderate drinkers both, in a moderately healthy house: that is the true middle class unit.

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.

Dalai LamaSpiritual Leader

Elon MuskBusinessman