The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. May not one lost soul be permitted to abstain?

The educated man is a greater nuisance than the uneducated one.

Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.