Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent. Leave that to me.

Taking jobs to build up your resume is the same as saving up sex for old age.

Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.