Rod Stewart, Elton John and I were going to form a band called Hair, Nose & Teeth after the three of us. But it hasn't happened because none of us can agree on the order of the words!
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Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
When I was a small boy in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and... we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.
It is conceivable that I might well be reborn as a Chinese coolie. In such case I should lodge a protest.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
Mr. Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right.
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