I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying; and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with any one who would be blockhead enough to have me.

One day, on tearing off some old bark, I saw two rare beetles, and seized one in each hand. Then I saw a third and new kind, which I could not bear to lose, so I popped the one which I held in my right hand into my mouth. Alas! it ejected some intensely acrid fluid, which burnt my tongue so that I was forced to spit the beetle out, which was lost, as was the third one.

An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

I'd like to say "thank you" on behalf of the group and ourselves and I hope we passed the audition.

So remember this is a bieber world, your just living in it. Bieber or die.

If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!