Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. May not one lost soul be permitted to abstain?

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.

All autobiographies are lies. I do not mean unconscious, unintentional lies: I mean deliberate lies.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.