When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools.

I'm a born entertainer. When I open the fridge door and the light goes on, I burst into song.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Rod Stewart, Elton John and I were going to form a band called Hair, Nose & Teeth after the three of us. But it hasn't happened because none of us can agree on the order of the words!

As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me."

Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks - it says, Goodbye.