When a man hears himself somewhat misrepresented, it provokes him - at least, I find it so with myself; but when the misrepresentation becomes very gross and palpable, it is more apt to amuse him.

Just think of such a sucker as me as President!

Has it not got down as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had starved to Death ?

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

Voting for Trump is like asking me to drive a car.

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.