We've been trying to sell out for years. Problem is that no one was buying.

We're like bad architecture and old whores. Eventually you become respectable.

I'm not Beethoven!

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

All autobiographies are lies. I do not mean unconscious, unintentional lies: I mean deliberate lies.