Chair Quotes

I don't like cream puff, corny guys. Usually, they are the nice guys, the ones that won't hurt you. They'll pull out the chair for you and the whole nine yards. Everything is perfect and boring.

I asked the guy who made the sound effects for the radio shows how he got the sound of the electric chair and he said it was bacon sizzling. What about broken bones? The guy took out a LifeSaver and crushed it between his teeth.

When I hear something that comes from me that makes me fall down off my chair, it's not often.

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?