If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.

The business man - a man to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom.

Never trust a man who has not a single redeeming vice.

A joke is a very serious thing.

I had been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who got drunk - and I would have liked to have the boozing scholars of the Universities wheeled into line and properly chastised for their squalid misuse of what I must ever regard as a gift of the gods.

The first maxim of English jurisprudence is that complainers should come into Court with clean hands.