If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.

The business man - a man to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom.

He has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts.

If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.

Never trust a man who has not a single redeeming vice.

I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.