The educated man is a greater nuisance than the uneducated one.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.

Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. May not one lost soul be permitted to abstain?

Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.