I've always wanted to smash a guitar over someone's head. You just can't do that with a piano.

Douglas is playing cuttlefish, a small species of fish that has no mode of defending itself when pursued except by throwing out a black fluid, which makes the water so dark the enemy cannot see it.

I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying; and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with any one who would be blockhead enough to have me.

General McClellan and myself are to be photographed ... if we can be still long enough. I feel General McClellan should have no problem.

No one has needed favours more than I, and generally, few have been less unwilling to accept them.

Just think of such a sucker as me as President!