I've been clean for ages, I'm at the gym all the time, everyone feels good.

I'm bored with it all.

What is the task of higher education? To make a man into a machine. What are the means employed? He is taught how to suffer being bored.

Exercise till the mind feels delight in reposing from the fatigue.

The idea of lying on a beach as my main thing just sounds like the worst. It sounds horrible to me. I would go bonkers. I would have to be on serious drugs. I'd be super-duper bored. I like high intensity.

I think about dying but I don't want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There's so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I'm still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can't quite figure out what the hell I'm doing or how to get out of it.