Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.

Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!