If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Do not keep company with a fool for as we can see he is a two-legged beast. Like an unseen thorn he pierces the heart with his sharp words.