This is the epitaph I want on my tomb: Here lies one of the most intelligent animals who ever appeared on the face of the earth.

Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from very successful businessman to top TV star to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius . . .and a very stable genius at that!

My IQ is one of the highest-and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault.

Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.

I'm the least racist person you have ever interviewed.

I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters.