It's rare for anyone to value the opinions of a teenage girl.

At twelve I looked like a girl of seventeen. My body was developed and shapely. I still wore the blue dress and the blouse the orphanage provided. They made me look like an overgrown lummox.

There's always that seventh-grade girl who looks like she's 25. And you're like, How do you do it? How do you do it, Sarah Jaxheimer? Why is your hair always so shiny?!

There are lots of things I really like besides girls. Like pizza. And pranking. And CHUCK NORRIS.

Now I'm really glad that I speak French, because, let's face it, girls dig it when a guy speaks French. They call it the language of love, and that ain't no coincidence. Plus, I love my French fans! Très jolie!

My first date has been...mythologized as 'Bieber's Dating Disaster.' I took her to a buffet restaurant. Yes, I wore a white shirt. Yes, I got spaghetti.