In my case, I like to take a nice shower, take care of my beautiful hair.... I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It's ridiculous.

I called him [Bill Bar] 'Weak, Slow Moving, Lethargic, Gutless, and Lazy. Based on the fact that I greatly appreciate his wholehearted Endorsement, I am removing the word 'Lethargic' from my statement.

I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.

The League is very well when sparrows shout, but no good at all when eagles fall out.

Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from very successful businessman to top TV star to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius . . .and a very stable genius at that!

Wait a minute, let's see here. I just found, isn't that amazing? This totally wins my case, you know. Except it is like, highly confidential. Secret. This is secret information. Look, look at this. This was done by the military and given to me. As president I could have declassified, but now I can't.