There's no absolutes in life - only vodka.

Where it all ends I can't fathom, my friends. If I knew, I might toss out my anchor.

Every time I think that I'm getting old and gradually going to the grave, something else happens.

In the end, everything is a gag.

Think about yourself at least once in your life. Otherwise you may miss the best comedy in this world.

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.