There's no absolutes in life - only vodka.

So remember this is a bieber world, your just living in it. Bieber or die.

It's not an underground tool for me. It's my whole life. I always joke the real motivation is to just turn the world gay.

Alcohol is the devil and I need Chinese food.

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.